A Fresh Start with a Positive Impact
By Prof. Lois Semenye, Ph.d
Have you thought what the single mothers go through? Many of them are traumatized, feels betrayed, hated, have great responsibility without a helpmate, these are few feelings that they experience. One becomes a single mother through different reasons; husband betrayal or dissertation hence seek divorce, unwanted pregnancy while single; or death of a spouse. Whatever the cause, single mothers are left with a scar that only Jesus can heal and restore.
Pastor Pauline Njau has had to go through the challenge of being a single mother of three. This was not by choice but, forced to by circumstances that were beyond her. She being a committed Christian married a born-again brother who showed all the quality of a good husband. Unfortunately, this was not the case. Pauline with tears explained that she made a bad choice of a partner. In her marriage, she felt ‘constant gnawing feeling of betrayal’ that led her to seek divorce. She also said, ‘my marriage was very unhappy and filled with emotional trauma and pain’. The peer pressure of being married also affected her. How could she leave a marriage and yet many of her friends were married? She continued to narrate that, ‘during a very difficult pregnancy with twins, I was placed on a bed rest, I had time to look back at my life and realize that my marriage had been filled with regrets, disillusionments and sadness. This was a result of what other people had done to me but also what I had done to myself’. She moved on to be a single mother and to a fresh start!
One wonders why God allowed Pauline to go through these challenges and trauma? This reminds us that, ‘in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose’ (Romans 8:28). In the midst of Pauline’s suffering, God gave her a vision that she is not the only one who has become a single mother. She saw many young girls in her church ‘fall’ from grace and become single mothers; and how after a few counselling sessions (if they got any), had struggled on their own. Besides these young single mothers, she witnessed how women struggle with their children after their marriages collapsed or become widowed. These situations seemed very challenging for pastoral teams. These ministers did not have clue of what is appropriate to tell or do for these women. This led Pauline to begin a supportive group – ‘The Fresh Start Experience’. (TFSE).
The aims of TFSE is to build capacity in single mothers so that they can experience God’s love and restoration; and build capacity in their businesses. These mothers go through a disciple book that Pauline authored- The Fresh Start Ten Weeks Discipleship Experienced. The content helps the mothers know and experience God’s love and restoration. It also equips them by helping them build capacity in their businesses.
For the last four years, this TFSE has been able to build, encourage over 100 single mothers. Tangible life transformation has been witnessed in their faith, choices they make, in their careers, how they get and use their money and resources. Their parenting too has been positively affected.
Pauline was able to share some successful stories. A good example was a story of Carine Atieno who has two children from different fathers. She joined this supportive group – TFSE and that transformed her life. Carine became a very positive influence of her local church youth that she was recognized for the good service she was rendering. She even got a very good job as a hotel administer and she continues to excel.
It is amazing how God uses one’s experience to birth a movement that impacts a community. The question that is of paramount important to ourselves is, ‘what do we have in our hands that the Lord can use and which can bring hope to hopeless people?’ May God help us and establish what we have in our hands.
